• w h e n + h e r e w a s m e & u •

a love scenario.

2008-06-24T00:41:00.002+08:00

It's just like climbing up the hill.

I was on top of it when it all started. You held me in your arms and we enjoyed the breeze. However, the next minute I found myself slipping off. I reached for your hand and you tried your best to pull me back up. But in the end, we let it slip. Just as I was expecting a hard, painful fall, you handed me the rope and pulled me back on top again.

The cycle keeps repeating itself for the past 22 months, like a train heading to a non-existant destination.

For the last couple of days, I was standing tall on the top, feeling so loved and cared for. But tonight, I am falling off, again. I know the rope is coming, but this time round, the question is should I take it, or leave it. It is going to be a hard fall. I would be all broken. But time will heal.

It was just something I wanted to blog about a few days back. But now I am not in that kinda mood anymore. So, no worries everyone! :))))

on top of the world

2008-06-20T20:51:00.004+08:00

Jinhui: When I looked at my friends' girlfriends, I thought to myself 'probably this/that girl is more suitable for me than Kaigai', but when I see you, I just know that it's gotta be you. You are just who you are, and I just love you.

You made me a happiest girl on earth. Thank you baby.

like shit.

2008-05-30T00:07:00.002+08:00

I feel like shit.

Firstly, I have no direction in life, or whatsoever. Many might argue; 'but you are going to live a beautiful life in the UK starting from July'. But the thing is, I don't even know where I am going to stay, and how much money I want to bring, and how I am going to make new friends from the scratch. I am beginning a new life from nothing. I will be the one dictating it, deciding which direction, which way I want it to be. But right now, I have no idea. People call up korpor (my scholarship board) to ask about the host family and school and other stuffs. I don't. In fact, I don't even feel a need to do so. I am thrilled to go there, but I finally realised that all I am looking forward to is to be away from home again in a totally alient land, as I am getting so bored here. How shallow is that?

Secondly, I am not living the life I want to live, which is the fulfilling the holiday life. Despite all the outings with friends and whoever, I feel completely useless. I have done nothing since last December. I planned to take some courses; cooking, driving, gardening, and so far I have yet started on any of them. By now I should be able to drive, cook well, and probably plant some plants, but all I have learnt is speed-typing through MSN, and the stalking skills(if you know what I am talking about) from facebook. I am utterly useless.

Thirdly, I have no money to spend on anything at all. I am not working and to tell you the truth, I have no saving accounts in Thailand. Not at all. To put it more straight forward, I have no money at all, and I can't buy whatever I want to. Today, I went out and saw the must-have shoes, dresses, tops, and bags and I could not have them simply because it would be my mum's money that's spent on those. All the money I have comes mainly from my mum's saving and I can't bear to use them on my extravagent stuffs, and that makes me so sick. I need my own money to spend on these things. NOW.

Next, I am living at my aunty's house and I have proven to be nothing other than a liable. Her family has enough issues and instead of helping, I add more. My aunt needs to give me a ride whenever I want to go to town to shop with my friends. She needs to pay for the petrol, which does not incur any benefit to her at all. And I am going out again on Saturday. I am so going to take a cab and pay with my own money, somehow. I can't ask for any more help from them. I have done enough.

Next, my pc just died on me. Even the stupid cheapo pc doesn't like me.

Next, I am reading chic flick again. I am reading one of those shopaholic books again. AGAIN.

Next, I am obsessed with the most adorable dress in the world, which I know can't be mine as I am so broke. PENNILESS TO BE EXACT.

I am just one idiotic useless girl who does not have any idea how to make herself useful to anyone around her.

I need your guidance. Come rescue me.

SOAS.

2008-05-23T14:30:00.004+08:00

Finally an unconditional firm offer from SOAS! YAY! :))))))

After countless emails (my emails to them) and a call, finally I got it!

The current status of your Application is:
Congratulations! Your place at School of Oriental and African Studies (University of London) (S09) to study Vietnamese and Economics (TL3D) has been confirmed.

And now I only have to wait for the confirmation letter to be mailed to me, so that I can go and finish up my visa application! More shopping to come! I hope the inefficient sporsor of mine will make it a point to give me the necessary cheque(s) before the flight on the 10th of July.

Yesterday, I went for a TB (Tuberculosis) check up at Phyathai 2 Hospital. I was so impressed by the service and the efficiency that I have vowed to always go to the PRIVATE hospitals for any future medical services. Last time I visited the public hospital was last month, to Tammasart University's Hospital, and it was truly a disastor. The queue was metres long and the staff were so unfriendly. They deliberately scolded the patients in the queue and rudely told them off once they went near the counter before the opening time. Moreover, the medical record files were all so messed up that it took them more than hour to get my file. By the time I got to see the GP, it was already 11 am, 4 hours after I reached the hospital. I had my blood test ready and it still took them ages to get me into the GP room. Damn slow and stupid. Imagine if you have to do everything, meaning x-ray, blood test, urine test, and etc! I think a day would not be enough! My warning is don't ever visit a public hospital if you don't have to! It sucks big time!

Alright, let's end off with something nice. Here are photos of SOAS, my future uni, and International hall, my future hostel!

Library.

Russel Square Campus.

International Hall Entrance.

The garden.
Inter Hall's central wing.

paranoia.

2008-05-12T00:55:00.004+08:00

Many couples have broken up, all due to NS. The main reason is because the guy feels tired, tired of having too many things to attend to at once: family, NS, friends, girlfriend(s). So the thing he gives up is his girlfriend.

The other night, I asked him whether he would ever be tired of me, and he said no. He asked me to trust him and I did. But the next day he told me he was so tired, and I must understand when he couldn't attend to me. He said he has his family, and other things, even though we chatted just once a week.

I am feeling so insecure. I am afraid that day would come, the day when he no longer thinks of me, and no longer needs me in his life. Someone told me that in a long distant relationship, it is a girl who has to sacrifice more, because she can't help it but think of him always. While the guy sees her as unreal, something so far away that he can't reach, thus he does not suffer as much.

I don't know if any of these are true, but I really hope he won't get tired of me, of meeting my needs, or what he sees as my demands.

But I don't know why I see that day coming. I hope it's just me being paranoid.

I really hope it's just me.

I'm miles away from where you are.

I lay down on the cold ground.

And I, I pray that something picks me up,

and sets me down in your warm arms.

friends are really forever.

2008-05-07T15:38:00.006+08:00

It was really really nice, and surprising to hear from you today Bridget! hahaha! I so misss you badly! And many many thanks for your concern but I am really fine, and living a happy life! :) Don't you guys worry for me! :) Still looking forward to that virtual tea session! I will go get a webcam! If we can't do it soon, we can do it when I buy my new laptop, which will definitely come with an installed webcam! Prepare your english tea and cups!

Anyway, it's again time to get emo! haha! Your call really really reminded me of the old times we had together in school. I miss 11/06! I miss stoning during GP lessons, crapping away with Mrs. Than, and well I miss Ms. Fong so much! Thought of skyp-ing her some time but I forgot her nickname in Skype. And I have no Skype account anyway. Gotta go get one for the virtual tea session with Miss Bridget and Mr Aulia!

I really do miss Teejay a lot, so much that I can't put it into words. I look forward to my next visit to Singapore, but that could be years from now. I really don't know when I will get to see you all again, but I wanna tell you now, loud and clear:

Thanks for the friendship, the memorable time we had together. We might not get to meet again in the near future, or never ever again in a lifetime, but I am truly grateful to have you as my friends. Without you, my time in Singapore would never be as enjoyable and fulfilling as it was. We did not vow or make any promises to stay in touch forever, but deep down in my heart, all of you are my friends for life. We might lose contact, but our friendship will never ever die.

You make my life worth living.

11/06 girls.

Three men who were there for me all along.

Muggers!

My 30th!

samark=mess

2008-05-04T17:30:00.004+08:00

The reason why I don't blog often enough is because there's nothing to blog about. Whenever I saw something on TV, and I thought yeah, I would blog about that, I procrastinated, and eventually I totally forgot about it. HAHA!

Lately, one of the most popular news is about the prime minister of Thailand, MR SAMARK. As if he was not a big enough problem, it is the way he talks to the press that has been claimed as disturbing. Many reporters complain the MR SAMARK speaks too loudly and too harshly, and also uses vulgarities when he answers questions and all.

So, there were many who came out and gave lots of excuses for him. Most said it is just the way he is. He has spoken that way for more than 30 years (really?) and thus, the reporters should not take anything too personal.

I find that amusing and ridiculous, especially when it came out from one of the Ministers. HELLO, HE IS A PRIME MINISTER, no longer a useless, grumpy old man he used to be. A prime minister should be someone with charisma and intelligence, at least enough intelligence to know to speak nicely to EVERYBODY, not only the press. Imagine a prime minister from Thailand scolding vulgarities in the UN summit, in front of other leaders, in front of the whole world. WHAT A SHAME! If he does not know how to speak nicely, then at least his instinct should tell him to change the way he talks. How can a person who does not know how to speak POLITELY AND INTELLIGENTLY lead a nation with 65 million people? I CAN'T IMAGINE.

It might sound too far-fetched. Just the way a man talks, what's the big deal! Courtesy is the basic thing that everyone should have, needless to say for a prime minister. If he does not start to learn, then probably WE will start to learn to make sure that next time we vote, SAMARK will not have another chance to speak to the press again. EASY enough?

Thailand is so messed up, help pls?

2nd day without you.am still waiting.

contented

2008-04-27T23:29:00.003+08:00

You are back in camp and I am missing you to the max. As far as I remember, since you booked out on friday night, we had one long chat, and nothing else. Why is it so short? Why must it be so difficult and torturing?

I was recalling things about us and thought, it is all meant to be. I was meant to get a scholarship to Singapore. I was meant to be posted to TJ. I was meant to be in OG7, CG11. I was meant to be in the same class as you. It was meant for me to message Liatbeng so that you could ask for my number from him and messaged me that night after our supposedly class-outing at Bugis.

I was meant to meet you, and to love you the way I do now.

We are meant to be baby.

Some people try hard to look for something that seem missing from their lives. I am different, because I have you.That is why I don't need anything else. That is why I am not trying to acquire for more. You make me stop and settle down. Since the day you walked into my life, I knew you are everything that I wanted. I am happy and contented everyday because you are all I need.

Looking forward to your next book-out on Thurs okay!

Borat

2008-04-26T21:26:00.003+08:00

I watched Borat today on HBO, my home box office. It reminded me of the discussion during my GP class in TJ, saying how controversial, and why Singapore has decided to ban it in the local cinemas. Finally I got to watch it and I can't agree more with those people who support the ban. For those who have no chance to watch, the film is about a journalist of Kazachstan, who was sent to the US by his government to study about culture, people, politics, etc. The film began with the scene in his hometown called Kusac (Not sure about the spelling) where he showed us his house, his room, his mother, his sister who was a prostitute, and people in the town; the rapist and so on. Til here, I started to have doubt whether it was real. You have rapist walking along the street and nobody did anything about it. And the condition of the house could never be so poor! Borat slept with a cow in his room! Oh my gosh! Anyway, when he arrived in a hotel in NY, the first thing he did was drink water from the toilet bowl! Bloody hell, how can someone be so dumb! There was a sink there okay and he just went down and drank straight from the toilet bowl! Ewww! And like that was not enough, he called up room service to ask why his TV did not show anything, and it turned out he did not know how to use a remote control. After that, he watched Baywatch and found himself 'falling in love' with Pamela Anderson and decided to 'persue' her in California to marry her the Kazach's way! However, he had no money to fly to Calif so he went to buy a car, and ended up with a second-hand ice-cream car! Then he bought A BEAR as his protection because they did not allow him to buy a gun. Furthermore, he went to this fine dining with people from the rich society. During their conversation, a man said he had retired from his work, and Borat mistook him as a retard! Okay, that can happen for a non-english spoken person but he insisted on it. And he also invited his prostitute friend to the dinner. Man, it was wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much. It was definitely an exageration and of course, just an act, for entertainment. However, the implication does not just stop at entertainment, some people went against the showing of the film because they felt it was a generalisation and thus was unfair to all the Kazachs. And even so, they thought the film distorted the truth, to which I totally agree. While I watched it, I felt so stupid but I finished it anyway, cos I was keen to know the ending.

My conclusion: BAN this film please!

End off with the Kazachstan's supposedly national anthem.

'Kazachstan is the greatest nation.

All other nations are run by little girls....'

(that's all I remember)

But yeah, how idiotic.

Have you reached home baby?

Would you call?

Don't fall asleep again please.

I've been waiting for way too long.

me, a flirt?

2008-04-25T21:36:00.002+08:00

I have been playing Harvest Moon using my Play Station 1, which I bought a few days after World War 2. It really looks like it's been in a war or something. So dirty and spoiled. Few days ago it just simply refused to read the newly-bought Harvest Moon disc, and that got me so pissed off. I was (and I am) addicted to the game so much that I went crazy, cursing everything I found around the house. My father was like 'why get so upset? it's just a game!' Well, it's not just a game, apparently.

Anyway, in this game, you (the main character, which is male) are to chase the girls in the village, whom you will get married to in the end. There are five girls in total, and you choose one to chase. Being me, I chose to chase three of them at the same time (so I can have more choices later on on whom to marry)! And after you keep chasing them, their feelings towards you will change, measured by the colour of the hearts shown when you talk to them(her).
So here is how different colours mean:
Black- normal.
Purple- getting interested.
Blue- friendship.
Green- feel something special towards you.
Yellow- she likes you.
Orange- she loves you.
Red- she is ready to marry you.

For myself, here are the colours of the girls' hearts so far:
Ann- Orange
Popuri- Yellow
Elli- Yellow
Karen- Purple
Mary- Purple
Well, I did not really chase Karen and Mary, so there's really no change in the colours of their hearts. But with Ann, Popuri and Elli, well, as you can see, ALL at least like me! And they are going to love me really soon. My sister said I am such a flirt (in the game), but I think it's just what I call 'diversification- to reduce risk'! HAHAHA! I think Genevieve agrees with me! HAHA!

Today my army boy booked out! He is already at home now! I am uber duper happy! But he came back having diarrhea, so now he's seeing doctor. His dad fetched him. Hope he gets well soon, so we can have that long chat I have been looking forward to the entire two weeks!

Watched a movie, starring Jennifer Aniston on HBO today. I love her so much! She is so pretty, sexy, charming and she acts super well. In the movie, she was engaged but slept with another guy who also slept with her mother, AND her grandmother! And her fiance found out about it, and got super pissed off. She came back hoping to reconcile. Here is their conversation.
The guy: You think it's that easy. You walk in here and tell me that you can't live without me, so that I have to go back to you?
Jennifer: I am not here to tell you I can't live without you. I CAN live without you, BUT I DON'T WANT TO.
It's so sweet and touching and so true. I can live without you baby. I definitely can. But the problem is that I don't want to.

make this mine!

2008-04-24T18:25:00.003+08:00

Alright now I am snatching this blog and making it mine! Hope you don't mind, my army boy! X)

YAY! Finally I have my own blog! Well, you still can come and post an entry, but well, you don't write that often so, give this to me ok! HEHEHE!

Been reading lots of blogs lately. I bet you would do the same if you are jobless during an 8-month holiday. Oh and I have been bitching too, with limyonglong, and my sister! I am so evil! X) Hahaha!

I think i'm gonna make this blog more attractive by trying not to ramble on rubbish and nonsense! hehehe! I'll try then!

Recently I have been telling everybody, and I mean everybody, about me having ONE of my FOUR wisdom teeth extracted. I took it out on Tuesday, in the evening. It has been two days now, but it still hurts, a lot! I could not fall asleep at night cos my tooth (though already taken out) gave me excrutiating pain. Damn. And I am going to take one more out next Tuesday. I am so going to tell the dentist to take TWO out next time. I feel it is more worth it to just feel the pain only once, for both teeth and not once for one tooth. If you know what pain I am referring too then you would totally understand.

Okay, let's try to post this first and I am coming back with another one! Laters!

a mixed feeling that i have

2008-02-20T23:01:00.004+08:00

lately, i have been reading a lot of stuffs online

esp about how other couples spend their valentine's day together.

how romantic and touching. full of surprises and happiness.

red roses. boxes of chocolate. necklaces. rings. where are mine?

while i was reading, i couldn help but thinking about myself, and of course u.

how sad that both of us did not get to spend our valentine's day together.

no roses. no gifts. no hand-holding. no hugs and kisses.

can it still be considered a valentine's day for us?

i still can recall our last year's valentine's day.

it was after school. lessons ended early.

u already went home to prepare.

u kept calling me, asking for my whereabout.

i lied to u, saying i was having council meeting in school.

but actually i was at parkway, with jessica, trying on a dress, which i hope would impress u.

oops. another time that i lied to u. but i dun regret it at all.

we arrived at clark quay at around 7 plus.

in the end, i wore a black dress with this very unique pattern

and u, in a new black zara striped shirt and jeans.

we walked along the river. it was so beautiful with lights and decorations.

how romantic.

we arrived at our table, which u had reserved earlier.

we wanted a table by the river,

which a stupid old man and his 'daughter' took our seats. curse them!

we ordered a valentine's day set!

appetizer.main course.dessert.

what i love the most would be all the surprises.

they gave us a box of chocolate. all in very cute shapes. (i fin all by myself later on)

and suddenly V for Vandetta appeared!

and he gave me a stalk of red rose!

a huge, blooming red rose.

how wonderful. how surprising.

we left the place, hand-in-hand, loitering along the river.

found a perfect spot at the staircase just in front of the central mall.

we sat there. no words between us.

just the warmth in ur arms, protecting me from the chill of the breezy night wind.

all the time, our hands were together. as well as our hearts.

took a trip home, in a crowded bus. but didn feel as if there were anyone.

cos YOU are everyone in the world to me.

Hey There Delilah

2008-02-14T23:56:00.004+08:00

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?

I'm a thousand miles away

But girl tonight you look so pretty

Yes you do

Time Square can't shine as bright as you

I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance

I'm right there if you get lonely

Give this song another listen

Close your eyes

Listen to my voice it's my disguise

I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me

What you do to me

Hey there Delilah

I know times are getting hard

But just believe me girl

Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar

We'll have it good

We'll have the life we knew we would

My word is good

Hey there Delilah

I've got so much left to say

If every simple song I wrote to you

Would take your breath away

I'd write it all

Even more in love with me you'd fall

We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far

But they've got planes and trains and cars

I'd walk to you if I had no other way

Our friends would all make fun of us

and we'll just laugh along because we know

That none of them have felt this way

Delilah I can promise you

That by the time we get through

The world will never ever be the same

And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah

You be good and don't you miss me

Two more years and you'll be done with school

And I'll be making history like I do

You know it's all because of you

We can do whatever we want to

Hey there Delilah here's to you

This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me

What you do to me

me and you

although we are not physically together on this valentine's day
but the feeling is even more special
i love you and i miss you
every second that i breathe you in and out
darling, this is what you have done to me

hope you are sleeping well tonight
having sweetest dreams of us
i bet you are dreaming of us kissing, cos i can feel it
i bet you are dreaming of us singing, cos i can hear it
i bet you are dreaming of us holding hands, cos i can see it
i bet you are dreaming of the time we meet again, cos i am dreaming of it too

2008-01-04T16:58:00.000+08:00

it happened again today. i am getting very tired and getting realli sick of it. i just missed u. tt's why i called. and the first thing u said was 'it's expensive u know' or 'i cant call u like this everyday'. it realli tires me out. i was excited to tell u stuffs. but after those words, its like my heart stopped beating for a while. like i was cursed to become stone for a while. i could not say anything for a moment. and i realized yeah, i cant do this everytime i feel like it.

u know what, i am scared. if this continues to happen, i am gonna die. i realli am gonna die. do u hear me? it is the worst thing. i wish u know much i miss u. i wish u know how much i long for u. i wanna kiss u, just gently on ur cheek and i wan u to kiss me back too. i was calling u to tell u how much i wanna kiss u. why did i get that kinda reply back, without even getting to say what i really wanted to say to u. u have no idea how much i got hurt from that. how can i survive like that. can u tell me how? i am not working like u u know. i am not as cool as u r, that when this feeling comes up i can ignore it and go on doing my stuffs. i cant just stay still when i miss u. i need to see u or at least hear ur voice for now. am i realli that far away from u oredi?

i'll try not to think so much. i love u.

ever ever after

sorry

2007-06-15T07:27:00.000+08:00

kaigai, i know u miss call me 5 times yesterday night.actually i tried to miss call u few times ytd and before i sleep but e phone was not switched on or i couldnt get thru. darling, sorry didnt wait for u last night. went online at 10plus to bout 12 but left when i didnt see you. i knew u would come as we agreed but i was not feeling well. maybe cos been sleeping at 2am and waking up at 6plus 7 for the past few days. stomach feeling wierd ytd, y,den feel like vomiting and having nausea. hai. dno why oso. sorry, hope u understand. i noe u wil, me beloved kaigai.

kinda fast rite, i will be seeing you soon already. haha. mua. update the blog k. mua darling, i love you.

love always,
Jin Hui

i miss u

2007-06-12T23:17:00.002+08:00

darling, i miss u... just came home.. went office to help my mum after CG lunch. guess when u were blogging, i was somewhere in pizzahut or on e train. haha.. wish i can c u now. didnt study at all today. hai. maybe i go read some chem later on. yup.. but kinda late alrdy den tmr still have NS medical check-up.

eh sorry, i noe i was kinda selfish yesterday but i didnt want it either, really don mean anything yea? i noe u understand. thks thks. really appreciated what u haf done for me. yup.. ya, we haf to try not to let tis kinda stuffs happen k. haf to communicate better i guess. i wil go fetch u when u are back k.. wanna hug n kiss u darling!

i go read up my notes already. take care.. wonder what u are doing now...

love you always..

i miss u

2007-06-12T23:17:00.001+08:00

2007-06-12T14:55:00.000+08:00

hey..i'm better now..wanted to miss call you in the morning but my sis doesn have enough credits in her hp.

anw...it's over ok. just forget about it all. it's just wrong timing and wrong saying. and we try not to let it happen again ok. i'm not saying it wont happen, but i hope tgt we can try to prevent it from happening. was really disappointed when i was trying to talk you out of the topic so tt u wont remain so sad and so overwhelmed by the problems but it's ok. i noe it's hard to talk about other things when ur mind concentrates on only one matter. it's ok jin hui. it's gonna get better. or at least u should face it with positive attitude. be optimistic so that you wont become the vimtim as well. i noe u noe what i'm trying to say here.

i'm at the lib again. trying to fin studying chem...only what we learnt in year 2 though. anw..tk care of urself k. mayb i'll go online tonight, mayb not. so u should tk care.

2007-06-12T14:39:00.000+08:00

This is the place where I sit
This is the part where I love you too much
This is as hard as it gets
Cause I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough

I'm here if you want me
I'm yours, you can hold me
I'm empty and achin'
And tumblin' and breakin'

Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could

I dream a world where you understand
That I dream a million sleepless nights
Well I dream a fire when you're touching my hand
But it twists into smoke when I turn on the lights

I'm speechless and faded
It's too complicated
Is this how the book ends,
Nothing but good friends?

Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I wish you would

This is the place in my heart
This is the place where I'm falling apart
Isn't this just where we met
And is this the last chance that I'll ever get

I wish I was lonely
Instead of just only
Crystal and see-through
And not enough to you

Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would

Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could

darling, i m sori

2007-06-12T01:08:00.000+08:00

darling! why are you disappointedandbroken? i miss you. sori if i have hurt you. it was unintentional and i was probably in no mood to talk too much just now. am trying to log onto msn now, just got DC and prog not responding. hai. hope u are stil ter. but i dont think so.

kaigai, i noe i am insensitive at times. but i really didnt mean it just now. felt that i already have lots of troubles. just back. saved tis entry as draft cos com needs to be restarted. yup.

kaigai, i miss u... so much so much..... what happened to u? what did i do?

darling, u noe m here

__________________________________________________________________

kaigai i knew it when u said probably u were too sensitive.

hai we are quarrelling again. i just wanna say i m sorry. i noe u suffer becos i m having problems here. i noe u haf been a listening ear for me. thks thks so much. i really appreciate everything u haf done. aiya, dun feel like blogging already. i m very lost now.

1 wk

2007-06-10T21:55:00.000+08:00

hi darling! wonder what u doing today? woke up early todae den went mac at parkway to study before tuition. after tuition, wanted go aunt house but she said maybe next wk cos she scared later pass the stomach flu to me. after i went her house tat day, the whole family contacted diarrhoea one by one. haha.. feel bad. den i went to study at bedok library again. met up wif my niece to go swimming. the food cooked by my new maid kinda bad, so i cooked myself. haha. not bad ok. haha. oh my filipino maid went back already!

how is ur essay now? haha. hopefully u wil come online soon.... i miss u darling! u haf gone back for a wk alrdy. wow. exactly a wk.

2007-06-09T23:38:00.000+08:00

hey..i'm writing essay. yeah again. rushing to fin by the end of this weekend. waiting for you to come online oso..but seems like ur not coming.

today i have a lot of relatives staying over at my house. some are from bkk, my grandma, aunt and our xiaopoh. hahah..the rest are from another province, my mum's hometown. so..there are now in total, including maids, 16 pple today sleeping inside my house! and m the onli one who's still awake at this hour. hahaha! many kids here! haha..and they are realli funni! all my cousins! there's one boy who always has riddles and he enjoys it when pple cant get the correct answer! keep saying wrong! hahah! two boys having very short hair and they like me to touch the back of their head, u noe where the hair is realli short. i like the feeling too. quite cool. hahha!

was talking to my mum about the idea of my essay and she keeps rebutting me. quite pissed actualli but i think again, mayb i should try another approach. u noe, it's about the ongoing insurgency in the south of thailand and i wanna say that it's not any party's fault and democracy's. remember we read this article titled a hole in democracy in gp package. i think it's politics. the one talks about hitler too. i think the author is quite right. cos i think the war, i call it war, is a result of majority rules kinda thing. people think muslims are at fault cos the buddhists, the majority make them think so. but my mum says i should suggest more logical and practical solutions and not just it's due to democracy. mayb i will. but i just think mayb what i believe is right!

ur here! just post this up first then!

2007-06-09T22:29:00.000+08:00

darling, how come u did not update the blog at all. tot i would be able to see smth after a long day but disappointed. haha. better update the next time k.

i miss u darling!

thks

2007-06-08T11:21:00.000+08:00

darling! i just woke up and ate 2 dumplings. haha. den mr tye ask me out for lunch but i said maybe another day.. darling, i miss u so much! when i woke u up, my head felt so heavy and thoat bit sore. den went down, saw my father and his eyes still red. hai. heartbroken. dun worry, i m fine k. i didnt even cry just teared ytd. dun worry k. m independent. haha.. wonder what u are doing.

kaigai, thks for being ter wif me ytd though u lost temper. haha. it is ok. i noe u were tired too, and i noe ur temper too well. hai, cannot be so short-tempered ok, at least not to ur bf. haha. but i noe u were in front of computer for very long and trying to cheer me up. thks thks. m glad u were ter for me ratchaphorn.

oh u wanna come back ar? i oso wanna u to come back. haha. den i can c u alrdy. and be intimate wif u. actually maybe u going back is smth gd, it makes both of us craves for each other more. as the saying goes "absence makes the heart grow fonder". haha. m craving for u, i mean ur heart and body. haha.

ok, let's go eat NYNY when u come back k? i wil save up for tat meal from now on. haha. when u come back, it's gonna be in e afternoon. i wil check into the hotel first den go fetch u den c how den we go eat den come back hotel lor. kk.

nite cycling? i wanna go kayakin with u first, i like kayaking more. haha. i still have membership to a club but dno whether u can get kayaks from ter a not. haha. if not, we can go bedok reservoir which i dun really like. or bedok jetty ter. haha.

take care, looking forward to the next entry entry from u darling!

it's just another entry

2007-06-07T14:40:00.000+08:00

i'm at mum's workplace again. today she asked someone to pick me up from home to her place. the guy came at 11am in the morning and i was bathing! gosh..was naked when he rang the horn! den i was so scared he would come in and found me..u noe..without clothes on! haha! but luckily the front door was locked. hahah!

found this info about the essay competition in thailand. mayb i'll join! haha! use my sis's name or sth cos must be studying in Thailand i think. anyway, i miss u. hai..actually wanna go back to sg. think i got nothing to do here. i told u oredi? my friends are no longer at home. they are oredi somewhere for uni. hai! i'm the onli one who's still stuck in high-school. gosh!

hey..when i go back can we go eat ny ny? i realli wanna try. oh and i think we should go night cycling. it should be fun! and quite romantic too!

i go read econ first. hai! realli lazy to study. dun feel like reading the notes at all la! k! once u read this den reply k!

me n you

2007-06-06T21:53:00.000+08:00

darling... i miss u so much... wish we are tgt now den can see each other or hug each other... haha.. u noe, i wish u are here, have so many things to tell u but dno who to tell now.. haha.. i wanna call u, sms u and confide in u. darling.

i think u shud be doing fine there. muz take care of ur ankle alrite, and not injure urself again. i muz really try to better take care of u alrdy. haha.. u oso, muz take gd care of me alrite?

just watched Deal or No Deal, i tink it is a dumb show, not interllectual at all. haha. the only nice part is the models. haha. wonder what u are doing now. after u went offline, i went to sleep den woke up at 6, watched heroes den had dinner. den study and watch tv. hehe. fill me in with ur life ter k.

actually kinda disappointed when i read ur last paragraph in the previous entry. yea.but i understand oso la. tat's y didnt post anything right after i read it. wanted to say smth that makes more sense. darling, still hope u can get me slippers. haha. get me some food oso k. thks. i wanna try thailand foodstuffs or snacks.

tmr morning got tuition, den afternoon got BOD outing at swensens airport. den going TJ for the june camp concert. kaigai, take gd care ok. mua. i miss u darling. wanna hear ur voice. rest well.

yea, been really long since we last posted any entries on the blog.

2007-06-06T15:53:00.000+08:00

this is the place where i sit
this is the part where i love u too much
this is as hard as it gets
and i'm getting tired of pretending i'm tough

i love this song! so much! i noe u do love it as much too!
finished watching heroes the other day. i have the whole set so if u wan, we can watch tgt using my, or maybe your laptop! :)

darling, it's been only few days and i'm starting to imagine your face every minute i'm unoccupied! that can be quite a bad sign. but i noe i must force myself not to! remember the hit sentence: be independent!

i dunno whether i will have time to go shopping so i can buy you slippers. i dun think so actualli. mum wants me home to study and also prepare for the tests for scholarship thingy. u noe what i mean and u noe how important it is to me right darling! and i will need ur support for that!

k..been long since i last posted anything here. it's ur turn now!

i miss you my baby!

i miss you darling

2007-03-14T22:13:00.000+08:00

kaigai,

i just miss u so much so much..

u noe, i guess i have never miss someone so much before. this time is different from last time
when i wake up, i think of you. when i eat i think of you. when i walk i think of you. when i receive an sms i wished it's you. when i lie on my bed gg to sleep, i could smell ur fragrance and it reminds me of u. kaigai, i just miss u so..

u noe, i m so scared, so scared what wil happen if we are separated after A's. i dun tink we can take it. but we wil haf to be able to. cant think of those now for i just wanna be with you tgt. kaigai, u are the girl i love so. been waiting for ur email or sms or a call for so many days already. everytime i receive an sms, i hope that it would be from u.

oh did ur hair already ar? haha. i shall be e first one to c on sunday. still got thurs fri and sat before i can c u. darling. i miss u so much. wah woke up so late. lazy bum. i feel bit lost without u ard and these few days no prog. progs all squeeze towards end of hols. it wud be better if it is e other way round.

oh i met up with mr tye todae in e afternoon den went for movie with joshua. 300!! kaigai, mr tye may want me to convert but i tink he meant gd for me in his eyes. i respect him for who he is. i tot bout things and he spoke to me bout Christianity before but i just replied my stand. i am frank with him just like i m to any other officers.

know why i did not blog or email u. i didnt know what to say. i just wanna c u. nth more. kaigai. i love u so much..

missing u.

mr jin hui

2007-03-14T20:56:00.000+08:00

i'm at home! went to rebond my hair today and cut it abit..so its now shorter and looks rather ugly but its ok i guess. just need time for it to grow longer and it'll look just fine

my first day at home today. woke up at 12 plus. hahaha! i know you're slacking there too rite! today went to meet mr tye? what did he say? u noe, i start to think that he might have some kinda motivation behind. mayb he's trying to get u convert but he knows that its not gonna b easy to persuade u, so he's being nice to u, making u hesitate when he eventually asks u to convert. but tt's juz what i think la. n mayb there's no harm...

u miss me? hahahah! i miss u too tao hui~

really got no one for me to pinch here at home. it just doesn feel like pinching u!

tt day i pinched my little cousin, the baby. and she was so cute alrite! but it just didn feel like pinching u. guess the feeling is juz not the same...feeling towards u and her i mean

i miss u. it's reallly different this time round. i'm just so attached to you and i cant not think about u. make me wonder how hard its gonna be when the 'end' comes...

dunno what to write oredi...tot u would update the blog...which u didn!

hope i'll c an entry here when i come and check again! dunno who say must update everyday!

is it a lot?

2007-01-25T19:17:00.000+08:00

kaigai,

m at home alrdy. just eaten dinner yup.

u noe, m really in a bad mood todae and i lost my bottle. worse, i have been thinking bout lots of stuffs these 2 days. bout me and u. bout out relationship so far and e prospect of it. confused. more importantly, i have been thinking bout our relationship now. i have been thinking bout what went right and what exactly went wrong.

m so moody now. tot of looking for u todae. den when u ask me m i really depressed outside sc room, i said yes twice. but i noe tat sadness is only short while. and next u turn inside. i tot u wud comfort me. it is how i feel after tat tat really made me sad.

actuali u not sms me or calling me is ok as i noe u are busy. but i was just tinking since u ask me if i was depressed and after i said i was, i didnt hear anything from u too. perhaps u are busy does it take a lot to comfort one person? for me, e only answer is whether we want it or not. time is nv a reason. but m alrite with it.

den i tot u could accompany me to ahs or for a while but u wanted to stay in sch. maybe tat's more fun. so i m alrite too. really. i den sms u i was feeling really bad and e reply i got was smth not related and next, u told me u haf a outing. i really wished i felt tat u cared for me. i was walking alone so i tot u could accompany me. but normally i stil haf to be alone in my heart.

actually e bottle i lost is a small ting as it can never be compared to our relationship. u not smsing me is oso a small ting. but it is e tot tat counts. it is e string of events tat has happened. and it has always been not 1 ting but few things tat made me sad.

i have shed so much tears, put in so much effort into this relationship alrdy. i always question myself if the fault lies with me before i tell u smth. i m not sayin e fault lies with u. becos maybe tat is u. but i m sure u wud want ur bf to be ter for u when u need someone rite? m i asking for a lot?

i noe u are trying to fork out time for our relationship but i m alrite with not gg out often. becos we c each other everyday, we haf chance to tok everyday. we can do work or eat tgt if we want to. but e ting tat matters to me, is how we support each other. for me, love is nevr about fun it is about fun and e meaning and e experience and going through tough times tgt. this has happen so many times. when u nid me, i always make it a point to be ter. but when i nid u, i always haf to request time from u. u noe, i noe u did try at times and m glad. but i rem u promise me smth before. if u stil rem. nvm bout e promise. e thing that truely matters here is do u not feel smth when i told u i was sad. no sorry becos sorry means not to do it again. kaigai, i hope u understand i love u so much so much. tats why i.........................................................

kaigai.

5 months alrdy.

2007-01-12T21:48:00.000+08:00

kaigai,

just read ur blog. most touching entry u have posted i supposed. haha. you know, i always expect from you and want this and that. however, after being with you for 5months, i supposed i have gotten used to some things and am less demanding. yea, we always quarrel and you will cry over this and that while i wil go drinking. i m sorry for always quarrellin with you. i just u noe, want this relationship to be better.

sometimes, i do feel that you are not concern enough for me. haha. but i can say that u are sweeter and more loving nowadays alrdy. u noe, i said before though it may be a simple thing but knowing where and what ur partner is doing is stil a sweet act. sometimes, when i see you like playing away wif guys, i feel jealous but i convince myself that you are just like tat. tat's y i always try not to make u feel jealous for i noe it does not feel gd. yea, we always worry bout not enuff time for each other but guess most importantly, it is the quality of time spend together or rather the effort to take out the time rather than quantity of time spend together. right?

you are the most important girl in my life too. whenever i feel lonely, i look for u. whenever i m sad, i wil turn to u too. haha. when you are cold or sick, i wanna be there to care and be concern about you. everytime i call you, see you and smile at you, i wanna tell u "i love you". and i miss u. and really, i always have you on my mind.

you noe, i wish you are beside me, live with me. for then we can be closer and more loving.

I LOVE YOU...

2007-01-12T21:05:00.000+08:00

it's finally friday! the week has eventually ended! what a relief! it was such a long draggy uninteresting week for me! actually a lot of things happened but i dunno why i wished for it to come to an end!

there are lots of year 1s in skul in diff uniform. it's quite exciting thou. bridget and i are very pleased to see juniors from diff skul diff uniform walking tgt, eat and enjoy their teejay life tgt! it's so...cute!

during the week, my friend had a fight with her bf. she was weeping in the sc room as if it's the end of the world. i felt very hurt when i saw her cry. she is dam dam skinny and when she cries, it seems like she's using up all the energy she has inside her. and after tt, she would juz..collapse! tt's wat i felt. the reason why they quarrelled was amazingly similar to what WE always discuss. she dao him and he got angry and she tried to come up with some silly excuses and bla bla bla. i mean...tt's what WE are going thru oso rite? tt's what we've been worrying about..that we wont have enuf time for each other cos i am involved in too many things, the same goes for u. and people always say we dun look like couple cos we dont spend time tgt in skul...not at all. i talked to aulia ytd..he asked me where u were and i didn noe. he complained saying i neglect u. do i really do that?

jin hui, i dun care what people think about us. i noe u dun either. i dun care whether they think we are faking ourselves or what. i noe, in my heart, deep down inside, ur the most important man in my life. i cant possibly live without u, at least for this moment. ur the essential part that i need for living. ur the only person tt can revive me by just simply saying i miss u. i love u with all my beings. i noe it sounds so cheesy, and mayb i really am cheesy, but tt's the truth. tt's what i wanna say everytime i see ur face. when i hear ur voice on the phone, i smile to myself, imagining ur beside me. i can feel the warmth thru ur voice. and i'm not kidding. when u say ur worried about me, i sense the care and love from ur words. its not gonna be the same if u werent here, my tao hui! :)

i love u so much 2

2007-01-06T00:54:00.000+08:00

kaigai, i noe u are stress and tired. actuali, it is not easy toking to someone who is stress. u noe y, cos u wil like give me attitude.. stupid u.... argh, was pissed too. but i haf to bear wif it. cos i noe u are hot-tempered and fierce oso. haha. i wanna take care of u but perhaps now den i noe u want me to take care of ur heart. i wil try to ok.

u noe, todae is e first time u told me wad is ur type of ideal relationship cos whenever i said mine, den u wil just tell me we haf different thinking. true, different thinking. but todae knowing that u treasure feelins more, guess we can better compromise? kk. feelings are imp i noe. i just mean we can tok when we c each other and free. kk. i miss u. mua....

kaigai, i love u so much too. u always tell me u cant lose me alrdy. me too..

kaigai

2007-01-04T21:58:00.000+08:00

kaigai,

it is 10pm now alrdy. and i havent receive any sms from u. maybe u are busy or hp no batt. but i really hope u can give me an sms. and hope we can tok more in sch during free time. haha. take care. i miss u. u noe we said before that we are going to be busy and have to understand. it is not tat kinda one whole day of spending time tgt that matter most. it is that kinda few mins we can spend tgt while busy but have chance to meet up. u noe. e quality and thought that counts.

i dno when u would be free to tok to me. haha. sometimes, i wish u wil tell me that u are at least fine or doing wad. tat's y i m using this blog to tell u how i feel. recover from ur pains ok

take care.

nite sweet dreams.

kaigai....

2007-01-03T22:21:00.000+08:00

hey kaigai,

u are still busy over orientation. but i really think u shud be back home to rest and get urself charged for tmr. kk.. but u just chose to stay in sch.. take gd care. yup..

i was sad just now but didnt want to trouble anyone or u cos i noe u are tired too. i went to drink. kinda tired and sleepy now. tink gonna sleep soon. yup.. sorry i noe u wud want me to wait for u. but m sleepy and bit sick.

u noe ytd i was pissed rite. but nvm bout it. over alrdy. i miss u kaigai..

wonder when u wil be reading tis blog entry. and anyway, i tink i shud be less emotional. rite? haha. muz be more "tough" towards relationship and everything.

i miss u..

tts how important u are to me

2007-01-02T00:47:00.000+08:00

u are
like the cloud in the sky,
like the water in the swimming pool,
like the fuel in the car,
like the water in my bottle,
like the chocolate milk in my fridge,
like the pens in my pencil case,
like the audience for a tv show,
like the bullets in the stapler,
like the undergarments that we need,
like the sms in the phone,
like the cash in my wallet,
like the exam timetable for students,
like the jokes jacky wu needs,
like the lyrics jay needs,
like the army which defends singapore,
like the clothes that we need,
like the pixels in a photo,
like the melody of a song,
like the voice of a singer,
like the limbs of a sportsperson,
like the ink in my printer,
like the legs of david beckham,
like the nectar bees need,
like the figure of a hollywood actress wans,
like the coins in my piggy bank,
like the sunlight that plants need, l
ike the oxygen that i need,
like the sleep that i need,
like the milk that ryan needs everyday

tts how important u are to me.

it's 2007!

2007-01-02T00:06:00.000+08:00

hey

happi new year darlin!

thou the year has gone, but not my lurv!
hahaha! i'm only gonna lurv u more and more and more!

i lurv u!!! mua mua mua!

kaigai, i love you

2006-12-29T01:53:00.001+08:00

kaigai,

how come say til i forcing u to blog?

u noe, i noe both of us are different and every couples are different so we shouldnt be comparing. well, i may haf said u haf disappointed me. m sorry if i said tat too often. really sorry. but ter are smth which we have done it differently and it should not haf been tat way. m using tis agn, u said u gg bac wif ur frens. i mean is it right in any ways? not to forsake ur frens who come all e way for u? yes it may be right in tat way, but it was my gf who wanted me to come and i come to fetch her despite not getting any calls cos i was worried about her. but instead, she turned me away at tat moment. moreover, i was not feeling well and i tot i need to go all e way back alone without even seeing my gf. as in, well we are diff but is it related to tis matter? i noe u miss your family and i shud not haf been cold to u. but i really didnt noe. however, would i be cold at all if i was not hurt. yup.

i guessed it has been quite long since i last said u n care for me rite. cos i do understand how u are like. and i noe u love me. if not i wun haf love u tis much rite? but tis incident has shaken me. yup n i tink it makes sense rite.

i noe u are tired. sometimes, i feel tat way too. kaigai, i really hope u noe i m not asking for tat much alrdy. i m giving in as well. i noe u do give in oso. i m sorry if i haf hurt u but when we argue i dno y, ter are always some things i insist i m right and u insist u are right. and i hate to haf things hanging in e air but u always like to end things e way it is. tat's y we always quarrel.

kaigai, we are different. we may do things different. be different from other couples. but e ting is e feeling should be same. cos couples are couples, love is stil ter rite.

lets us let tis matter be over ba. whatever i haf said in this blog entry, let's just tink over it in our mind and not discuss it anymore. with tt, i believe it is better. rite? i noe it n u noe it, tats enuff. kaigai, i miss u. gd nite sweet dreams.

jin hui

hey

2006-12-29T00:54:00.000+08:00

u want another entry, here it is

well, u might never knew, u have hurt me again
guess i should not have mentioned about the day
i came back at all...it let us dig up all those
unpleasant things and end up quarelling again
or mayb it's only me who tink so

guess what, i hate it when u do this
u always accuse me of not loving u enough
not loving u at all
not caring about u
never spare a thought how u feel
is it so?
is it?

i realli DO hate it
mayb those things arent supposed to happen
mayb they are not what couples do
but we are different, poh
i am different, u r too
we think differently from other couples
we do different things from them
tt's what makes us different
have i realli disappointed u tt much?
by all the things i do, the way i tink?
or what is it?

kaigai, sleep tite

2006-12-27T02:36:00.000+08:00

kaigai,

hopefully u are sleeping tight tight now. i wanna spend some time with you so we can sort things out. i know u are tired. m sorry, in a way i was unreasonable out of my anger. u were home-sick and felt really bad yet i throw my temper at u. it was not easy for u to say sorry. i noe. sorry. kaigai... thanks for knowing i felt bad too. i appreciate it very much..

i do know u cant choose between bf and frens. i dun tink i will be able to choose also. but u noe, it was jsut tat moment. a moment i wud never forget.. at first, i tot u would really be off with frens though in my heart, i wished u had call again and said, can we go back tgt. in e end, we did go back tgt. hopefully, it was really ur intention to let me fetch u home and what u said earlier was wrong. u noe, i didnt mean it. nvm, it is all over already. rest well dear. sleep tite tite.

kaigai........ after reading these few entries, guess u wud have lotsa feelings. when u feel better, and haf time, do read them. i wil be here waiting for ur entry.

kaigai, i love u

2006-12-27T01:54:00.000+08:00

Kaigai, i m sorry!

u noe, i did know tat you were going to be alone and you need someone to be with you. tat is why i chose to go airport so that u noe someone is still here waiting for you and u are not alone.

i know that u are going to miss ur family kaigai. kaigai, i m sorry. i should have better understood ur feelings. however, i was blinded by my anger. u noe, i did try my best to care for you already. i was not happy so i didnt know how thing are going to be when u said ur frens are coming. u noe. i was scared that u wil neglect me for them. but in e end......

dun cry anymore alrite? i love you kaigai.

What happened?

2006-12-27T01:22:00.000+08:00

kaigai.... u noe, i bet both of us are feeling sad now. u noe, when i see you when i see your tears, my heart melts. but why? i m so hurt as well. it may seem like nothing but well, to me i just felt so neglected, felt that i was not ur priority at all. i noe u wil say i m i m. but looking back, was it ur priority just now? or was it ur frens? or was it? i dno. i hate to make u cry just now, but u noe how furious i was. i could describe it, couldn control my anger. noe y i went to T1?

i waited for ur call or email or blog entry for days. so when u just kip saying my phone no money, i felt mad. on the 24th dec, u said i wil tell u tmr. i waited and waited patiently for i noe finally u wil be back. till just now at 9plus when i was stil at tampines, i received no call. for todae's dinner, i didnt not dare to eat out cos i scared later haf no money for cab. i ate at aunt house. i de rushed back home, bathe hurriedly den packed my bag. i checked timing of ur flight, unsure stil. i was thinking if i should ever go this time. i tot that perhaps something happen or ur phone was not in use, so i decided that it is better that i go, if not u wil be going home alone. i put on raincoat, walked in the rain to e busstop. i realised left my keys at home. den i called home and realised i dialed wrongly, it was my aunt. she ask me if i was at home den i said hesitantly, yes. i felt guilty but i had no choice. i reached airport, know that i was having fever while at mac. i ate medicine. i thought ur flight wil arrive at 1plus but received ur call at 12plus. was happy before i pressed the key. den u said, maybe ur frens coming. but i tot they just come to see you. den ur call came when i was going to budget terminal, u said ur frens are ter and u refused to tell me who they are. but i alrdy noe who they were. if they are comin and u want them to fetch u, let me noe. though in my heart, i noe i did say i wanted to be e first person to c u. and it was u who ask me to come. but u said, u are going back with ur frens. i felt so neglected. do i deserve this? u noe it is a small matter, but at that very point in time, u chose ur frens and u let me go home on my home. i asked mysef, would i let my gf who come all e way to fetch me go back on her own? i didnt not know what else to expect. i went off and decided to go T1.

when we were on cab, i know i gave u attitude though u just came back. but, dont u understand how i feel? everything i tot in my mind for u were gone. those sweet words those sweet stuffs. kaigai, haf u spare a thought for me?

i reached home, saw my dad. i said sorry.

kaigai....

2006-12-25T07:46:00.001+08:00

hey kaigai,

i just got back home only. haha. 7plus i the morning. bathe alrdy and gonna sleep soon.

ytd went mos to club. quite regretful of it. in the morning i went to city harvest church cos my fren invited me for it. den went to parent's office den brought my niece to watch movie-eragon. den reach home at 9plus den 10 plus i stil went out to club cos was playful. now thinking back, shud haf rested at home. wasted money and time. hai. but at tat time was thinking i wanna club once before sch reopens. but when i was outside, i tot maybe staying at home wud be better as the coming wk hardly gonna stay at home. got ogl camp, and new yr i gg out wif u ma. rite? so ytd shud haf stayed at home if not father wil.... feeing guilty. hai. but nvm la. oso over le.

oh u watched soccer ar? haha manU damn strong rite. haha.. but liverpool stil no.3 wad. ok ma. just tat e gap is a bit big. oh and as to if u need me to fetch u, just let me noe lor. i miss u so much. tat's y always miss call u. dear. i wanna c u and kiss u. u noe? mua. 2more days and u wil be back. yay. i go rest alrdy.

kaigai....

2006-12-25T07:46:00.000+08:00

pohhh,,,read this!

2006-12-24T00:50:00.000+08:00

i'm watching liverpool vs watford
and posting another entry at the same time
well, we won! 2-0..still third place thou
behind ur stupid man u and chelse
went for menicure, dunno how to spell
hahaha! and it looks so pretty!
my sis oso says so! hehe!
u'll c it soon!

now lazy to type oredi
wil tell u tmr whether i need u to cum fetch me
i'm not sure yet..and now u keep mis calling me
i oso have no money ok...i have like one dollar
hai...check the blog then!

2006-12-22T19:38:00.000+08:00

hey kaigai,

let's not argue ok? i realli miss u alot i miss u so much. take care. kk? i hafta go alrdy.. kaigai, i love u so much. just wanna u by my side.. and let me kiss u..

jin hui

ALWAYS ON MY MIND

i miss you

2006-12-21T20:44:00.000+08:00

hi kaigai,

m back from bintan alrdy. haha.. miss u so much. you know, i always think about you and my 2 camps have finally ended. read your 2 blog entries. how have you been? haha.. oh you cut your hair alrdy ar? haha. yup, my gf should be looking prettier but i think you also look fine now ma. yup. pay for your haircut? haha tis one should look pretty la rite? how come now become so vain alrdy? haha..

you know what, i dun want you to put on braces, i dun like teeth after braces as it looks quite fake. besides, your teeth looks alrite ma, right? if u listen to me, dun put on braces k. i stil want to kiss you also, u too right?

your mentor? i dno him. teacher from tjc is it? oh and u told him u are moody? wah u contact him so much one meh? haha.. you ok? feeling stress cos of school work isit? actuali i feel stress over sch work also. hai. take care of yourself alrite? i m here. i wil try to be by your side everytime u need someone. mua.

kaigai, i miss u so much. i wanna see you, kiss you, hug you, talk to you, sayang you. i miss u kaigai. come, come back to me. mua.

juz another entry

2006-12-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

i felt like posting another entry juz now, but not anymore
becos of mr shaky who showed me this idiotic website
which was supposed to feature the incredible optical illusions
well, it was very impressive, esp for the last photo,
which the gal inside screamed the hell out of her!
and she realli did scare the hell out fo me!

i missed u, but after seein tt stupid woman, screaming at me
the feeling was lost...need sum more time to build it up!
hahaha! but it's gud in a way tt i dun hv to keep tinking about u
and i can go do my hw finalli! i'm doing maths now! hehe :)

seemed like blogger is gonna delete this entry, all above i have typed
nvm..i shall copy it first! stupid blogger!

jin hui, i cut hair! today went to the hair salon and i now have fringe!
a very huge one! my sister said i look better with it!
i also tink so! wait til u c me so u can comment on it! hehe!
but make sure u say i'm prettier, otherwise u need to go hair salon
wait for me there to get a new hair cut, which satisfies u
and pay for everything! muahahahahaha!

i tot bintan is quite developed, tot u would be able to connect to internet there
tot i would c a new entry up here! hahahaha!
it's ok! juz enjoy urself there k!

considering puttin on braces!
but if i realli put it, i wont be able to kiss! *o*
so, wat u tink? hahahaha!
perhaps i will oredi have them when i go back!
it's such a poor thing for sumbody!

this's not needed rite?

2006-12-19T01:24:00.000+08:00

i went to read other people's blogs
and there was one particular entry, which caught my attention
the girl wrote about how her used-to-be bf proposed to her!
it's so exciting! he proposed to her at ecp u noe!
he took her out for dinner and brought her to ecp
it was her 26th bdae so he was supposed to give her present
they were sitting on the beach when he took out this jewel box i guess
then he gave her the key to open the box
but then he asked her to throw the key anywhere, saying he would find it no matter how far the girl throw it
the girl was like kinda surprised then said she would throw it into the sea, jokingly
she tot the guy was juz playing
but the guy took the key from her hand and threw it into the sea!
then he took off his shoes and stuffs and started diving into the sea!
at nite! can u believe it?!?!
then the girl panicked, but couldnt do anything cos she cant swim
after quite some time, the guy emerged with the key
then he came to her, kneeled down, asked her to marry him
it was so sweet and the girl said yes!
she cried too...
oh my gosh! it was so sweet rite! thou it was at ecp but it's quite nice when a guy does this to his love!
but if this happened to me, i would not get the same feeling i guess
i'm not tt kinda sweet and cheesy! mayb u can try!

u told me ur gonna propose to ur future wife at where?
the fountain at suntec? haha! go tink of a more romantic place!
or u can still use tt place if ur way of proposing is cute enough!

now start to miss u! again!
tmr gonna cut hair...i gotta brush up on my looks! u tink so too rite?
feel like for the past year, i've been looking so dead!
so tired and unglam! i'll look better next yr! hahaha!
maybe i'll rebond my hair again...otherwise if would becum wavy again.
but i'll c how...too straight is not good either, so unnatural

ummm...been contacting my mentor lately. he's a very nice guy...
still very young, u noe, desmond kao? yeah..it's him!
he is very helpful...asked him for advice about stuffs and he guided me alot
cheer me on thou i felt down...without u!
hahaha! tink ur in bintan enjoying urself!
beta miss me k! or else i'll nt talk 2 u for a wk!

told my frend about u and they barely believed me!
cant stand it! i can hv a bf too ok!
a very nice one indeed! hehehe! very sweet, am i rite?

its getting late and i need to get sum sleep
tmr will post again if there's time
might show u how my new hair cut looks like!
mua! i miss u darling.
cant wait to c ur face once i reach sg on 26th.
wait for me k!

2006-12-18T01:07:00.000+08:00

poh loves kaigai
kaigai loves poh

kaigai,
i miss u so much..
when i m away, u muz take gd care of urself k
drink more water and dun eat so much sweet stuffs

always haf u on my mind...

--- jin hui ---

kaigai, i miss u

2006-12-17T13:06:00.000+08:00

kaigai!
i m back in SG, just bathed only.
u noe wad? i really miss u a lot.
feel like crying now.

sometimes, i wished i didnt join BB also, can spend more time of my own, and concentrate on studies. however, it is too late for all these. i have alrdy spent those time. well, some i enjoyed some i dont. actually, i wanna do better for studies, i tot of taking H3 maybe can take but i think with my results, no point also. sometimes, having a capable gf makes me feel much inferior also. i wanna excel in every area and studies i have not. hai. perhaps joining BB is really a wrong option or i didnt conc in JC. really need to work hard next yr. help me ok? i wil try my best to be ter alrite? no promises as i really dunoe wad wil happen next yr. i scared my studies cannot catch up as during hols i really didnt study. next yr have to study harder alrdy. k change subject la

this trip to cambodia has really been an eye-opener. i think i have and hope i have a change of perspective is some areas. i miss u now and miss the children ter. m quite emotional rite? haha. i got to know these children and they really made me feel touched. when i reached the place, i told myself that i muz get to know them. when i was leaving, they told me not to go and some almost cried. making me sad also. sometimes, it is really sad when u wanna do something for them but u cant. they are really poor. but u cannot give them things as it wil build their dependency on aid. i miss them. actually m crying now. but bit only. haha. they gave me notes and when i reached home i opened them up and read them. felt really touched. they live such simple life. life that we wil think as sian but to them, they are contented with. actuali it is really poor thing for them, groups of Singaporeans come and go leaving them behind. as the more fortunate ones, shouldnt we do smth for them rite? perhaps next yr if i can, i wil drop by for few days or when i m older.

i miss u kaigai. how come so many days never blog already? haha. tot we said muz blog everyday whenever u can. rite?
take care alrite? m tired. haha.

i miss u kaigai, i love u so much.

2006-12-14T00:25:00.000+08:00

high

When you're close to tears remember

Someday it'll all be over

One day we're gonna get so high

Though it's darker than December

What's ahead is a different colour

One day we're gonna get so high

And at the end of the day remember the days

When we were close to the end

And wonder how we made it through the night

At the end of the day Remember the way

We stayed so close to the end

We'll remember it was me and you

Cause we are gonna be

Forever, you and me

You will Always keep it flying high in the sky

Of love

Don't you think it's time you started

Doing what we always wanted

One day we're gonna get so high

Cause even the impossible

Is easy when we got each other

One day we're gonna get so high

i changed the blog skin again. haha!

this one is really nice i think.

hope you like it once you get to see it when u get back to SG

i'm back at my own house

gonna slack for a few more days

after that will start working

as in doing hw and stuffs

u'll be having camps non-stop

you know sometimes i wish you didn join BB

it takes up all of your time

and you get very tired...left so little time for urself

but nth can be done now

so..juz do ur best whatever ur doing

i'm here for u always

mr andy emailed me about the H3 subs

he said i got it all...- -"

was quite stressed cos didn know which one i should go for

but i've made a decision oredi!

by myself! (with LITTLE help from my mum)

i shall go for NTU maths and SMU AP

what u think?

but by the time u return to reply me this

i would oredi have submitted all the acceptance forms

next yr is gonna be tough for me for sure

i need u there

be there for me k

promise?

always on my mind

2006-12-11T23:33:00.000+08:00

kaigai,

jinhui misses u so much.

always on my mind...

ALWAYS ON MY MIND

Maybe i didn't treat you

Quite as good as i should have

Maybe i didn't love you

Quite as often as i could have

Little things i should have said and done

I just never took the time

You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died

Give me, give me one more chance

To keep you satisfied, satisfied

Maybe i didn't hold you

All those lonely, lonely times

And i guess i never told you

I'm so happy that you're mine

If i make you feel second best

Girl, i'm sorry i was blind

You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died

Give me, give me one more chance

To keep you satisfied, satisfied

Little things i should have said and done

I just never took the time

You were always on my mind

You are always on my mind

kaigai, rem this song?

the song that has made u cried and the song i sang to u

i miss u so much.

faster come back alrite?

u noe todae?

i went out alone cos dint wanna bother my frens

den couldnt find at lavender, marina sq, suntec

have to go to my mum workplace

in e morning wanted to go her workplace but couldnt wake up.

if u were here, guess u wud wake me up. rite? i miss u so much dear.

everywhere i go i wil carry the ring with me

cos i know that u wil always be with me den

dun tink u wil be coming back online

never mind la

the next time we can contact each other wud be 10days later

u la, nv tot of that rite..

i miss u so much u noe.

i need u beside me.

u said

"i haf succumb to you"

haha.

maybe i haf succumb to u too dear.

i miss u so much.

take care when m not beside u ok.

muz bathe even though i didnt ask u to. understand?

mua. really wanna kiss u so much. haha.

my love

my dearest gal,

my galfren,

hopefully my wife,

I LOVE YOU!

kaigai is always on poh's mind!

chasing cars

2006-12-11T22:07:00.000+08:00

*******************

We'll do it all, everything, on our own

We don't need anything or anyone

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lay with me

And just forget the world

I don't quite know how to say how I feel

Those three words are said too much

They're not enough

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lay with me

And just forget the world

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time

Chasing cars

Around our heads

I need your grace to remind me

To find my own

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes

They're all I can see

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

I just know that these things

Will never change for us at all

*******************

its your fav song which u always sang b4 i left sg...

went to Pattaya, the beach to be exact

rode the banana boat and jet ski

it was fun...but still i missed u

its getting late and i haven taken shower..

if i were in sg u would call me and ORDER me to go and bathe

now ur not here..i gotta remind myself

but its ok cos i'll be back real soon! :)

this shall be the first post of our first blog tgt

tmr ur going to cambodia

take care ok

u have me with u all the time

everywhere u go

i luv u